It’s almost 11pm at night. I’m exhausted and this is the first time I’ve posted in what feels like forever. Story of my life, right?
I wish I could be more consistent with this, but you know I’m juggling so many things right now and sometimes I have to say no to certain things. I’ve had a couple of blog post ideas running through my head though, so I wanted to stop by for a quick chat. 😉
As an adult sometimes I feel like I have the world on my shoulders:
- Social life (I’m dropping the ball on this one. Does staying home watching CW shows count?)
It feels there aren’t enough hours in the day. When I tell you that I’m exhausted I mean so tired that when I finish my last final on Wednesday for the semester I am going to drag myself home and crawl back into bed and sleep for another few hours, and then probably go to work. I basically plan to do nothing over winter break. I plan on using the word “no” a lot. I plan on staying home and catching up on christmas movies and books. I plan on SLEEPING. I say this as a warning to those in my life because as selfish as this sounds and as much as I love you. I need a break. I’m overwhelmed, and I need to reduce some of that feeling going into the spring semester; my final semester.
As I was praying one night not to long ago. I saw this picture of a city at night; all of the lights that come from a city were lit up, and it looked beautiful. But I also saw a person holding up this sitting. This person was so tired. She was starting to shake from the pressure that was on her. I then saw a hand move in and take some of the pressure of this person. This hand took the weight that had been beating this other person down for what seemed like forever. This hand took all of the weight, but didn’t shake. It was like it weighed nothing to it. The very same weight that had threatened to cause a great deal of harm to the person who’d just been holding it up.
The person still thought they were holding up the city because they couldn’t see the hand that had stepped in to take the weight off. They visibly relaxed as the weight was lifted. They remained where they were though. They stayed in the same spot that had just been threatening to crush them.
I don’t know what your “city” is in the picture, but I want you to know something. God is right there. He has already stepped in to help you, but you have got to get out of the way and let Him do what only He can do. He loves you so much. He’d never ask you to carry this load on your own. Don’t let it crush you. Let go. He’s go this. Trust him. He isn’t swayed by what you are going through. He isn’t shocked or surprised. He is still in control, and he is still on his throne.
I know it’s easy to want control especially when you feel like things are going downhill and you can’t do anything about it. It makes you want to keep the little control that you have. It doesn’t matter if that very thing that you have control over is hurting you because at least you have a say in that, right? I see that you’re shaking though because the weight is too heavy and it’s threatening to do you harm.
Cry out to God, and He will hear you. He will come to help you. He is an ever present help in times of need. He’ll come take that weight if you ask him, but then you have to be willing to release your hold on it, and really walk away.
Scary right? You’ve been where you are for so long. You’ve been struggling for so long and the very though of walking away is terrifying. I don’t know if it’s a relationship, or a job perhaps, but there is something in your life that if you don’t walk away from it will continue to harm you.
I’ve been there. I know what the road looks like.
I can’t choose the right path for you. I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you that God won’t let you down. Trust him. He can handle that weight. He won’t let you down like other people have.
I’ll leave you with this. I don’t know when I’ll be back. It could be tomorrow or it could be 2 years from now. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. I hope this post finds you well.