I hate feeling like I can’t communicate because I’m worried about how someone might feel, or that they might get offended. I’ve dealt with people like this my whole. Let me be clear just because I don’t share the same opinion with you or even say something in contrast to what you think is right doesn’t make me wrong. Communication can be largely based on opinion which is why people get offended so easily.
I’m an honest person, and I try to let my yes be yes. I say what I feel, and I try to keep kindness in mind. I am 21 years old, so I do fail sometimes. I say things, and realize how harsh it came off. I have to step back, and apologize. I will no longer apologize for being me though. I won’t apologize because someone doesn’t agree with me any longer. I said that I was moving on, and I meant that in so many senses. I will not be held back any longer by anyone. There is always an exit out of my life, and I suggest you use it if you don’t believe in open communication. I won’t hold back any longer.
I will no longer be yelled at when I just wanted to talk to someone. I will no longer be lied to. If you say you’re open to communication, be that way. Don’t shut down, or start yelling because you don’t agree, or aren’t “winning.” Communication isn’t about winning. It’s about getting to know the other person, and understanding them. It’s about figuring out why the other person feels the way they do.
If I say something to my little sister, and she says she wants to talk later, and tells me I hurt her feelings when I said A, B, and C…It doesn’t matter what I felt in the moment. I hurt her feelings. I first need to acknowledge that, and apologize. I need to listen to what she is saying, and not try to jump to defend myself. Communication means listening to what she is saying to me. I can then take the time to explain myself, and what I meant to say, or how it was supposed to come off.
I know this sounds like a rant, and maybe it is. I just want people to understand how important this is. I’ve seen so many people hurt, and traumatized because they didn’t feel safe to speak up. We need to fix something because something is broken if no one feels safe enough to communicate how they feel.
I challenge you all to work on your communications skills, and I’ll work on mine. I still have a long way to go, guys. You could ask my best friend, and I’m sure she’d have stories. I don’t communicate for weeks, and then I explode. It stems from the not feeling safe enough to say how I feel though. I am working on not repressing things though guys. It’s a work in progress.