Your people…

I’ve never been much of a people person. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy talking to people or being around them, but I’m introverted so I tend to hold back when I’m around people. I’m also shy, and people can be too much to handle at times. I took a step back though this week and realized that I’m surrounded by people who care about me. 

It’s like one day I blinked and I had a village of people who were determined to see me become my best self even if that meant fighting against what I wanted. Isn’t that what we all need from time to time? Someone to tell us that we’re wrong, or that we’re doing ourselves more harm than good. We have days were we need someone to put life into perspective. We need someone to cry on when life isn’t fair because we already know that it isn’t fair so to tell us that again would just make us more upset. 

I would like to say that I hand selected these people that have found their way to being an essential part of my life, but most of the people that I did hand pick didn’t really end up playing a big part in my life. The truth is that I’m not sure I trust myself to find “good” friends after walking away from my best friend a while back. 

The thing about walking away from a seven year friendship is that a decision like that does not come lightly. It’s something that you cry about because you can’t even talk to the person you have told everything to up until that point and time. I remember finding a quiet place to cry and it was the deep kind of sobs that shake your whole body. I didn’t hesitate to cut her out of my life when I realized she was becoming toxic to me, but that doesn’t mean that my heart didn’t break. 

I went through a large season of loss that summer of 2015 as most of you know. I lost my grandpa a few weeks after I told my best friend that I couldn’t be friends with her any longer. I walked into work the day I found out my grandpa had died and I walked past her and even as others hugged me and told me they were sorry she didn’t. It was that point that I knew that I made the right choice…Some things should stay broken. 

I didn’t know how to repair myself after that though. I pushed people away a lot because I was hurting and I didn’t know how to put that pain into words. This blog post is probably the most I’ve opened up about that summer to anyone. 

It’s been over a year since that I day I walked into work and realized that my core friendship was broken and to try and fix it would only cause more harm to myself emotionally. I finally feel like I’m starting to rebuild

These people that are so important in my life. They snuck in without my permission. They planted their feet and refused to move even when I had convinced myself that I didn’t need anyone and I wasn’t being a very good friend to them. They constantly show up when I need them because that’s what your people should do. They should love you at your absolute worst. So if you’re reading this, and you know that you’re one of my “people” in life…I appreciate you. You make my life so much sweeter. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 

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A friend loves at all times.

“A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17. 

I was reminded of this verse when a special friend wrote on my wall on Facebook. As most of you it’s been a rough couple months for me, so her message came at the best possible time. It wasn’t anything special, but to me it was a reminder that I’m not alone when my life feels so shaky. 

I laughed when she told me not to bake anything. < That sounds awful, but I’m a horrible cook, and the one time I tried out of the goodness of my heart to make her gluten free brownies, well they were slightly burnt. She did eat them though guys! 

I met this amazing person through the summer camp I go to. We bonded together under circumstances that we’re less than stellar, but this bond, this friendship feels like something that isn’t going away. 

She was my confidant at camp, and the amount of laughs, and inside jokes that came through this long week in July amazes me. We made the best of a rough situation, but it wouldn’t have ended so well without her. I would have gone home early. I probably would not have returned. You all know how much this camp means to me, so if I’m saying this, that’s intense. I’m so grateful God sent me a partner in crime to survive the week with because it ended up being my favorite week of the year! 

She won’t brag on herself, so I need to. She lives out the verse I quoted about. She is always willing to let me vent about a bad day. She is always there for me, whether we are in the same city or miles apart. She is willing to look like an idiot for some foster kids, so that they can have the best week of their lives. She pours herself into everything that she does, and always gives 100%. 

She is my person at camp, when I am so far away from home, and out of contact with my normal “person.” You know, like Alex is Meredith’s person since Christina Yang is no longer apart of Greys? *SOB* 

She makes me laugh so hard, and never judges me for life decisions i’ve made. I could go on and on. The best thing I can say, is that verse is how she treats friends. 

I am seriously blessed to have her in my life. 

I hated Greens until I became friends with you! 

You win favorite person award today! 

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤