These moments

I prayed a simple prayer tonight, “teach me to love the season I’m in, God.” Life won’t always be easy, and there will be times that you just want to throw in the towel. There are days when you want to bang your head against the wall in frustration and that’s okay. 

I remember talking to a child at camp a little over a week ago. She was upset about something and I can’t honestly tell you why, but she told me that she hated her counselor. I got down to talk at eye level with this precious little girl and I told her, “you have the right to your feelings. You do not have the right to hurt someone else because of them though.” I can still picture how big her eyes got. She asked me, “you’re saying it’s okay that I’m mad at her?” 

I loved this kid in her honesty. She was probably so used to people telling her not to hate people that my approach to things shocked her. I told her absolutely! We then went to play on the swings. 

Feelings and emotions are such a big part of life. Why should we deny how we’re feeling? Today I’ve been feeling a mix of hurt, frustration, but also some joy. Life isn’t something you can put in a box. You can’t wake up in the morning and know how you’ll feel all day. Thank God that life isn’t black and white like that, right? 

I may have wanted to bang my head against the wall in frustration today but I also find myself to just taking in this moment and wanted to save it. Bethel music playing and spending time with my sisters. I know that these days will come to an end all too soon. We’re getting older and we will all have our own separate lives. We’ll always have this bond but we won’t always have this season of life. I’m not praying for God to help me love everything about my life. I’m just asking him to teach me to love this season. 

I feel like there will still be days that I blurt out that I can’t wait for A B and C because that’s growing up. I just don’t want to rush through these bumps in the road because there uncomfortable only to miss living in the present moment because this moment is so frustratingly good. 

Advertisements

Happy endings. (Once upon a time spoilers inside.) P.S camp story inside. ;)

I love the ideas of happy endings. I love watching the good guys win, and I love seeing good come from something that seemed so awful. What about those situations where you can’t understand why it happened that way? 

See I love fairytales, I mean one of my favorite shows is “Once upon a time”, and yes sometimes Charming finds Snow, and Rumple is reunited with Baelfire, but sometimes Charming and Snow are cursed and they don’t remember each other, and Baelfire is ripped from his dad again. What about when Rumple dies and Bell’s face is literally crushed, and as she screams “NO!” Every single Oncer screams with her. My point is what about the times when a happy ending isn’t in sight?

I went to a camp for foster kids as you all know now, and every day I looked at these kids, and I couldn’t comprehend how someone could ever hurt them. I mean, they are the sweetest, and have the biggest heart. It will never make sense to me. Life doesn’t always make sense though. We don’t always get to see the reason for something in season two until we watch season 4, do you get what I’m saying? We just have to trust that God has a plan because sometimes happy endings take time. 

I did get to see a happy ending through this week though, but before I get into that story, I need you to understand something…Anything foster kids own is very important to them. They don’t always have much, so they cling to what they do own. 

I met a camper who was the sweetest kid, I’ve ever met, and he wasn’t really outgoing, but he would sit down and talk to me most meal times, and at the end of the week, he gave me a key chain, he had earned at camp, and my heart broke instantly, as I accepted it with a “thank you” as tears pooled in my eyes. He told me he’d love me forever. I had to walk away because I knew I was about to lose it. I rode home on the bus, and I found out that he is actually being adopted this fall, and I am just ecstatic for him! I’m so happy to see that he will get a happy ending. 

Happy endings take time. If we stopped watching after Rumple died, we would never see that he doesn’t stay dead, and if we stopped watching because Charming, and Snow didn’t remember who they are, we would never see them find each other again. Don’t think a happy ending isn’t coming because you’re stuck in season one, because you never know what could come in season two.